NOT SO FAST: PRESIDENT CHARLES SMITH

You’ve heard of President Bush. You’ve heard of President Obama. But it’s time you heard of President Charles Smith. Currently gracing the stage at Bennett Hall for Theatre Workshop’s production of November, a humorous show spanning two days in the life of a first-term President with dangerously low polling numbers, President Smith is a character you cannot help but love and laugh at. On the cusp of our own upcoming election, N Magazine caught up with President Charles Smith himself to discuss some issues close to his heart.

not-so-fast-president-charles-smithN MAGAZINE: Where would you like your Presidential Library to be located?
PRESIDENT SMITH: Well, Cathy says “Shaker Heights”, ’cause, you know, I was raised there and all that, but I believe the Library should be at somewhere SMART, right? Like, the CDC… USC, uh, M.I.T… K.E.Y. — M.O.U.S.E! Yeah, Disneyland!! Yep, that’s the spot, oh yeah.

N MAGAZINE: If you could take one item with you from the White House when you leave office, what would it be and why?
PRESIDENT SMITH: DANG, that’s a good question. Hmm… Archer? Can I do that? Has he got a life? He doesn’t have a life, does he?

N MAGAZINE: Who is your favorite Presidential predecessor and why?
PRESIDENT SMITH: PREdecessor, good one. What’s that, like, “Predator”? But in a blender? Favorite movie, btw. Actually, I want to see “Illegal Alien vs. Predator”! Gotta get that movie MADE quick so I can still watch it in the Presidential Movie Theatre! I mean, not that I’m going anywhere…

N MAGAZINE: Why do you think your poll numbers are so low at the end of your first term?
PRESIDENT SMITH: Who you been talking to? Reporters? Get me his name… But actually, those are Opposite numbers. Yes. You have to turn it upside down, then you’re lookin’ at it right. Ly. (Rightly? Right.)

novemberfamilyportraitN MAGAZINE: How does a boy from Shaker Heights become the leader of the free world?
PRESIDENT SMITH: Hell, I don’t know. Oh, you mean ME? Huh. Right. Uh… Practice? Wah! No, seriously, just, just, you know, smile a lot and talk pretty (get somebody to write you some seriously good stuff to say), and uh, woah, the White House! How’d THAT happen? Bonus…!

N MAGAZINE: What do you want your Presidential legacy to be?
PRESIDENT SMITH: Where the hell is Bernstein? Um… Boldly… Forward… ly, Hope, Strong stuff, yes, to co-habitunate all our… Trust, trusty, trustworthinacious holistical People, peoples, and, uh… have it all just, totally ass-kickin’, no, strike that, dominable, INdominable FUTURE. Of ME. Yeah.

For tickets and more information on TWN’s production of November, click here.

More from Nantucket Magazine

AMERICAN MUSCLE

Photography by Brian Sager Styling by Porter Simmons Hair & Makeup by...
Read More